Being a Chaotic Neutral

will win you many more enemies than friends

Being inspired by a recent argument with some random fucking nutjob on Substack, I decided it was time to write a bit more personally about myself, my value system, morals, etcetera, so people can get an idea of what they’re dealing with here.

If you click the link above, you’ll see an entire thread where in the comments, I corrected a meme he posted, and he got offended that I would dare to do such a thing - and then proceeded to use puerile ad hominems, making assumptions about my character and beliefs, etc. Some people really can’t separate their egos from their arguments. I find this to be a vast majority of people.

This is why I said you’ll “gain more enemies than friends,” it has been my experience practically since the day I was born. I don’t pick or choose sides. Good or Evil. Therefore, being on “the fence”, and choosing my side, I am hated by both.

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Here is some more detailed info on the → chaotic-neutral alignment ←, and a short synopsis; “A chaotic neutral character is an individualist who follows their own heart and generally shirks rules and traditions. Although chaotic neutral characters promote the ideals of freedom, it is their own freedom that comes first; good and evil come second to their need to be free.”

as you can see in the above meme, a chaotic neutral does not capitalize, use abbreviation or an ampersand when describing the roleplaying game ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ (gather from that what you will) - for the record, I’ve never played “dnd”, but I am familiar with the terminology and alignment classification system from other RPG video games

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Essentially, where I get myself into a lot of trouble is my need and desire for mental debate and mental violence. Human minds are like great feasts upon which I can prey and devour. I am also an avid player of Chess, and I get a great deal of pleasure when mentally subjugating my opponent either through brute-force tactics or slowly entangling their mind like a boa constrictor and squeezing the life force out of them. Same with verbal dialogue.

I am often able to do so without any personal attack, being a man of honor and non-violence, I rarely “throw the first punch”. I allow my opponent to make that mistake after becoming frustrated by simple words, and then proceeding to demolish them physically, or mentally, depending on the arena in question. This is why I also favor playing Black or Defense in Chess, as I prefer the parry-and-counterattack method. We will play cat-and-mouse as long as it takes until I become the giant fucking rat that eats all your kibbles.

I tend to play Devil’s Advocate, a lot. I might not have a bone to pick with someone at all, and I might even enjoy their content or posts, and I will still pick it apart and potentially mock some aspects of it. If this offends you, you are entirely too emotionally attached to the constructed ethereal ideas existing within your mind. They are not real and do not exist anywhere except in their heads. Most people think ideas are a real thing, especially if it is shared by millions or billions of others (religion, anyone?).

I always question what is real, what is true, and my own beliefs and values. How did they get there? Who taught them to me? Do they have any basis in the real world? This is the nature of my curiosity, and thus I rarely take anyone at their word. If someone tells me “Don’t go left, there are bears and booby traps over there,” to my great folly, I am the type of person that will go left and discover or investigate for myself if that is even true. Such is the nature of my truth-seeking in that I have to see for myself. Much unlike people like TexasArcane and many others, who simply see a meme, believe it immediately, and share it - immediately taking the safe and easy path to the right. Most people are not willing to “DYOR” or “Do Your Own Research,” being too lazy or mentally ineffectual to devote their attention spans to doing such a thing. It’s much easier to be told what to do, what to think, and what to believe.

sheep and lemmings venturing off the side of a cliff

Let me give you a good example of what I’m talking about. Let’s talk about abortion. Stay with me, it’ll be very short. Quite simply, I am a centrist on this issue. I can find arguments for both sides, good and bad. It’s not a cut-and-dry issue. The same could be same for climate change, or damn near any major conflict or issue that is being debated in the present day. These are complex issues that do not have a right or wrong because both proposed solutions can lead to arguable good or bad things happening. Don’t you see? Morality is a big sea of gray. There is no white or black, and many fine lines and nuances in between. You may think you are doing a good deed by giving a homeless guy $10 at the gas station, but he may end up going and buying a crack rock and murdering three children at a Taylor Swift dance class.

So you see? You did what you thought was right, but the result of your “good deed” ended up in a great deal of evil occurring. See how this works?

The Universe and all that “Fades to Black” laugh in your silly egotistical human faces at your attempts to reconcile Good and Evil in this gigantic ocean of eternal randomness, odd coincidences, and unforeseen outcomes.

Humanity’s Giant Ego will continue to be the bane of its existence, for as long as they remain non-extinct. Very few attain the spiritual and mental enlightenment to escape the cycle of Samsara, and fewer more to reach the heights of Nirvana. I am speaking in poetic metaphors here, but someone, I’m sure, will assume that I’m a Buddhist now.

In conclusion, don’t become too attached to your words, ego, ideas, and emotions. Especially to the point where you feel the need to track down someone on the internet and challenge them to a duel because they disagreed with you. True enlightenment comes when you see these things as constructs of your own imagination and perception of reality.

That is all.

-FTB